


Suit & Tie

by nxwtmas



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 19:42:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nxwtmas/pseuds/nxwtmas
Summary: All the formal events in Thomas and Newt's lives that show Thomas' confusing feelings for Newt turning into something tangible and quickly becoming love as they grow up together. Scenes from different times in their lives express the way Thomas feels about Newt and the way those feelings become more clear and natural over the years.or Thomas' inner monologue of him turning into a mess every time he sees Newt wear a suit.





	Suit & Tie

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by some Newtmas fanart by tumblr user @phoedraaws . I quickly became obsessed with the idea of Newt and Thomas wearing suits and Thomas thirsting after Newt. This is my first work on here so I really hope people like/read this!

Thomas sat on the bed in the room that he'd spent a large portion of his thirteen years sitting on. He knew the room better than any. Better than his own, even. He knew every dent in the walls, every stain in the carpet, every part of the floor that creaked. He knew it like it was his own. Thomas knew these blue walls better than he knew his own walls. He should, he had helped to paint them this color three years ago. It was probably due for another upgrade, though. There was a noticeable chip in the paint right by the headboard. It had begun forming several months ago and only grew with time. Right now, Thomas was so focused on the cracking paint that he hadn't even noticed the door open. It wasn't until someone cleared their throat that Thomas looked over.

Whatever he had been about to say died in his throat. Newt, his best friend of seven years, stood in the doorway. In his doorway. This was, after all, his room that Thomas was sitting in. Newt was watching Thomas from the door looking very uncomfortable. Thomas noticed this, but it wasn't what he focused on. 

Thomas saw Newt. Thomas saw Newt's hair that, according to his mother, was getting too long. Thomas liked it, though. He liked the way it swooped over his forehead, just reaching the top of his eyes so he was constantly having to push it out of the way. Thomas saw how tall Newt had gotten recently. Newt was only five months older than Thomas, but he was already several inches taller. Newt brought this up constantly. Thomas pretended to get upset when he did, but what he never admitted was that he liked how much taller Newt was. Thomas saw Newt's eyes, brown and warm and happy, looking nervous and out of place. As though he didn't belong in his own bedroom.

Thomas saw most of these things whenever he saw Newt, but right now the first thing he saw was the suit he was begrudgingly wearing. Besides the dress shirt, everything was black. The jacket, slacks, shoes, and tie were all black. Fitting for the occasion, they both knew, but Newt thought it had been overkill. 

Three days earlier he had had a lengthy argument with his mother which he later re-enacted to Thomas in great detail. She insisted, he said, that he wear a suit; it was appropriate for the occasion and it would be respectful to dress for it. Newt had then explained that it shouldn't matter what the clothes were, as long as they were black. That was the dress code for a funeral, after all, and it's not like he was close to the deceased, anyways. Still, she had not taken no for an answer and made him borrow a jacket and dress pants his dad had worn when he was younger. 

At the time, Thomas had agreed that it was overkill. Now, though, he watched Newt fidgeting in the doorway and wanted nothing more than to thank Newt's mother for being so stubborn about the formal attire. Both jacket and pants were a little too big on him, but the shirt was brand new and fit perfectly. The tie was definitely too much, but Thomas couldn't help but notice how much older it made Newt look. 

It was this, all of this, that made Thomas feel like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. The second he'd seen his friend step into the room, every thought he'd had floated away and was replaced with the image of this. Thomas couldn't say when, exactly, this had started to happen. He just knew that recently the sight of Newt did something to him that he couldn't quite explain. Like suddenly none of his thoughts remained relevant when he caught sight of his friend. It certainly hadn't always been like this, so what was different now? 

"Thomas?" 

Thomas shifted his attention away from these confusing feelings and focused on his friend instead. There was a thin line between those two things, but he did his best to push those thoughts out of his mind for as long as he could.

"Yeah?" 

"Does this look okay?" Newt asked. He had stepped further into the room, shutting the door behind him, and stood in front of the mirror. He adjusted his tie, making it worse than it had been seconds earlier. 

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, definitely."

Newt turned to face Thomas once again. "Are you sure?"

"I don't know, Newt. Do you want it to look okay? I thought you wanted to protest this." 

"I do, but I don't want to look stupid." 

Impossible. Thomas thought. Out loud, he said, "You might want to wear something else, then." Not that he would admit it, but he really didn't want anything less. 

Newt laughed, something light and carefree. Thomas couldn't count how many times he'd heard that laugh in seven years. How many times had he been the cause of that laugh? Yet recently, hearing it made his heart stutter. He could feel his face begin to heat up. Why was this happening to him?

The nerves quickly returned to Newt's face, though, and he resumed adjusting his tie.

"I look ridiculous." He muttered. 

"It's really not that bad." Thomas said. That was an understatement. "You won't be the only one wearing a suit." 

"I'll be the only thirteen year old wearing a suit." 

"Probably." Thomas agreed. "But it'll make you stand out."

"I don't really want to stand out, Tommy." Newt had picked up on calling Thomas that from the moment they'd met and it had stuck. It had never phased Thomas. Not until recently. Now it made his heart beat a little bit faster. "I barely knew him. We only met twice." 

Thomas didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to convince Newt that the suit wasn't the worst thing in the world; not without confessing the strange feelings he'd been having recently. Feelings he hardly understood himself, so how would he explain them to Newt? So he said nothing, instead gave in and helped him fix the tie he'd spent the last 5 minutes ruining. 

He crossed the room and shoved Newt's hands out of the way. The brief feeling of Newt's fingers brushing against his made his skin heat up. He disregarded the feeling and got to work. He ignored the steady beating of Newt's heart underneath his shaking hands and ignored his warm breath against his face. Thomas took a deep breath and attempted to steady his hands. He ended up having to start over with how badly Newt had tangled it. 

When he finished, he straightened out the tie and smoothed out the jacket. This was purely out of habit, but after realizing what he had done, he winced. Why had he done that? He looked up at Newt to judge his reaction, but found him smiling down at him. It was a whisper of a smile, hardly there, but enough to send Thomas' heart into a flutter. 

"Thanks, Tommy." Newt said. "You know, you really don't have to come with me." 

For a second, Thomas was worried this was Newt trying to kindly say he didn't want him to go. But after looking further, he knew this was Newt saying he needed Thomas to be there with him. The weird feelings Thomas had may have changed, but their friendship had not. They always did everything together and that had not changed. Besides, they both knew there was no way Thomas wasn't going to be there. 

"I know." Thomas said. 

Newt's smile grew. Thomas didn't need to say anything else for Newt to understand what those two words were really saying. Newt was right that Thomas didn't have to go; where Newt had met his late uncle only twice, Thomas had never met the man. There was no reason for Thomas to go; no reason except Newt. He was the same reason Thomas did most of the things he did and went most of the places he went. He was the only reason Thomas now stood as close as he did. 

"Alright, then let's go before we're late." Newt dragged Thomas by the arm out of his room and down the stairs. 

Newt's parent's had left 20 minutes ago so they could be with family prior to the service and told Newt he could walk over to the church when he was ready. Provided he wouldn't arrive late. They got there with five minutes to spare, which might as well have been late to Newt's mom. Most attendees were already seated when Newt and Thomas stepped into the church, some lingered near the door or stood by the pews quietly visiting. They stood in the doorway together, unsure of what they were supposed to do. 

Thankfully, Newt's mom had spotted them and was now walking towards them. She smiled politely at Thomas. Thomas thought he could see pity in her eyes which confused him. He wasn't the one who lost anyone; not that they'd been close with Newt's uncle, either. 

"I was getting worried you were going to be late." She said, "Newt, you come up and sit with us at the front. Thomas, I'm sorry, but it's family only up there. I tried to save a seat for you, but there was no room."

That explained the look of pity in her eyes; she knew he would be uncomfortable sitting anywhere except with Newt. He nodded, though. This was not something to protest and he would only be here for maybe an hour. He could deal with that.

"That's fine." 

She looked relieved, as if she were afraid he would be upset. He was, but he knew she'd tried and this was not the place to put up a fight. 

Newt, on the other hand, shot his hand out towards Thomas and latched onto his arm. Thomas was pretty sure the material of his shirt had to have melted with how hot his skin underneath felt. He ignored this, though. 

"That's not fair! I knew Uncle Jack about as well as Tommy did, and I'm still sitting up front." His voice was quiet and steady, but Thomas could hear how upset he was behind it. 

"I'm sorry, Newt." His mother's voice was soft, but Newt still held onto Thomas. 

"It's okay, Newt." Thomas said. Newt looked at him, his gaze wary, but let go. 

"Okay..." Newt said, still hesitant. "I'll catch up with you after, then?" 

Thomas nodded before Newt and his mother headed up for the front. Newt turned around to look at Thomas once more and smiled apologetically. When they sat down, Thomas searched for his own spot. 

All throughout the service, Newt turned his head so he could find Thomas a few rows back. Most of the time, it was just eye contact before one of them looked away, but eventually Newt started making faces at Thomas. He tried not to giggle, knowing that would get him several nasty looks, but thankfully Newt's mom made him stop before Thomas could disrupt anyone. 

When the service ended, Thomas let the church become almost empty before he made a move to leave. Family had left first, so he knew Newt would probably be waiting outside for him. He hoped that's where he would be. 

Crowds of people gathered on the lawn. Crying, consoling, chatting with long lost friends. It was funny how funerals, meant for a final goodbye, could turn into a reunion for some people. Thomas searched the area. It was too full of people he didn't know, all older and taller than him making it hard to spot Newt. He did see his dad, though, and figured that would be his best chance. Thomas took off in his direction.

"Hi, Thomas." Newt's dad said when he noticed Thomas near him. "How are you?" 

"Good." Thomas wanted to slap himself. Who said they were good at a funeral? "I'm sorry for your loss." It felt like the right thing to say in this situation. Even if he hadn't been close with his brother, it was still a loss. 

"Thank you." He said. "Newt's over there." He pointed behind them, near the back of the church where less people had congregated. 

"Thanks!" Thomas said, taking off in the direction he'd gestured to. 

Newt stood alone, clearly avoiding all the family who wanted to comment on 'how big he'd gotten,' or, 'why he didn't have a girlfriend yet.' Thomas tried not to dwell on these thoughts as he reached Newt. 

"Hey." Thomas said. Newt looked up and smiled when he saw who it was. 

"Hey! So Dad offered to hold the wake at our house, I guess. It's in twenty minutes. Are you coming?" 

Thomas nodded. This wasn't really a question of confirmation; more so asking, 'Should we go now?' 

Newt took off in a direction that led away from his house. Thomas looked at him in confusion, which Newt saw. 

"We avoid family if we go around the block."

When they got back to Newt's house, they immediately headed for his bedroom. Newt was already kicking off his shoes and yanking off his tie as they began their ascent up the stairs. Thomas made way for the bed and Newt collapsed into his desk chair; this like a routine. Newt threw his jacket onto his floor, likely for the dramatic effect, and let his tie hang loosely around his neck. He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and leaned back in the chair. 

Thomas watched him while trying not to watch him. His mind told him what a bad idea it was to watch Newt so intently; it was weird and if he noticed, he would definitely be put off. Except his eyes didn't listen to what his mind was telling him. They remained steady on Newt, finding nothing in this room or any room that could be more interesting than him. 

"Seriously, thanks again for coming." Newt said, "And I'm sorry you couldn't sit with me." 

"It's fine." Thomas said. He didn't feel fine. "I'm with you now." 

Why did he say that? That sounded very lame, and surely Newt would agree. 

Except he was smiling. Which Thomas thought was strange, but he couldn't help but sink into the warm look. 

"I don't know what I would do without you." Newt said.

Thomas nodded. "Me neither." 

He hoped to God he would never have to find out. 

\---------

The banquet room was filled with adults dressed in their best clothes and acting as though this was something they did every Saturday evening. Thomas was sure he didn't know over half the people in the room, but the ones he did know probably hadn't worn a dress or tie in years. Thomas wasn't sure he'd ever worn a tie, himself. The one he was wearing now felt like it was suffocating him. Granted, the room was hot and crowded, but he was sure he would never get used to the tightness of it. 

Thomas had been in the large room for all of 30 seconds, but he already wanted to discard his jacket somewhere. From what he could see, though, no one else had taken theirs off so he thought it best to leave it on for now. Not many kids or people his age were in the room. It's not like this was an event most teenagers would want to attend. Thomas hadn't really wanted to go, himself, but the only person that he cared about in this room had convinced him. It hadn't taken much to do so.

Speaking of, Thomas now saw Newt crossing the room to get to him. He was holding what looked to be a glass of champagne, but was probably not. The look of relief on his face as he got closer to Thomas sent his mind into a spiral. 

After two years, Thomas had expected the strange feelings Newt sent through him to go away. But now, at 15, they had only grown stronger than they were when they first appeared. The closer Newt got to him, the more confused Thomas felt. He was wearing a suit, too, but it looked much better on him than Thomas' did. His jacket was black and pinstriped and the shirt underneath was a dark grey. The tie was navy blue, corresponding to the color that filled the banquet room. Thomas' tie matched in color, courtesy of Newt who had picked his out at the same time as his own. 

Thomas hadn't seen Newt dressed up like this in two years. He had forgotten how well his friend pulled off the formal look, no matter how much Newt hated it. This time, however, he hadn't protested when his mother informed him this event would be black tie. It was, after all, his parents anniversary party. Newt may be stubborn, but he knew when to let things go. 

"Hey." Newt said, when he was within earshot. The room was loud, full of chatter and music and laughter. 

Thomas swallowed, struggling to speak through the tightness of the tie and the way his breath had been taken away when he'd spotted Newt. 

"Hi." Thomas finally managed. "Sorry if I'm late." 

Newt waved him off. "Nothing has happened yet." 

Thomas tried to find something to say. Nothing seemed appropriate for this moment. He wanted to tell Newt how nice he looked. How well he pulled off the look he hated so much. Especially now. At 13, he'd still been a gangly kid, not yet grown into his long limbs. Now, though, he was taller than Thomas ever remembered him being. The suit was all his own, nothing borrowed from his father, and it was fit to perfection. Nothing too large or too small, too baggy or too tight. Everything fit the way it was supposed to. His tie was even straight. 

Seeing how proper his friend looked, Thomas suddenly felt foolish. Certainly he looked ridiculous in his father's old jacket. His pants felt too baggy and his shirt too loose. Nothing fit the way it was supposed to on him. The only thing that felt right was the tie, and he desperately wanted to take that off. When he'd first walked into the room, he thought maybe he'd be able to breathe if he took it off. Now, though, he watched as Newt adjusted his jacket and pushed back his recently short hair out of habit. Thomas didn't think anything would help him get his breath back. 

"You look great." These words mimicked Thomas' thoughts so well, he thought at first it had actually been him who'd said it. Quickly, though, he realized it had of course been Newt speaking to him. 

This sent Thomas' already spiraling thoughts into a storm. Surely Newt had to know no one in this room looked nearly as good as he did; especially not Thomas. He couldn't conjure up any reasonable response to this. In the back of his mind he knew all he had to say was, 'Thanks, so do you,' but that didn't seem like enough. However, anything more than this would reveal to Newt every thought that was swirling through Thomas' mind. 

"Tommy?" Newt pulled Thomas back down to earth. 

"Sorry, what?" 

Newt laughed. "I said you look great."

"Oh, thanks." You look incredible. "So do you." That would have to do. 

"Are you okay? You seem spacey. More than usual, I mean." 

Thomas nodded. He didn't really trust his words, but Newt was looking at him like he expected an actual answer.

"Yeah, it's just a little warm in here." And it was, but Thomas didn't tell him how much warmer it had gotten when Newt had spoken to him. 

"I hear that. Come on, let's get you a drink." Newt grabbed Thomas by the hand, setting every one of Thomas' nerves on fire, and pulled him towards the bar. 

"Speaking of," Thomas said to distract himself from the feeling of Newt's hand warm in his, "Is that champagne?" He asked, gesturing to the glass in Newt's other hand. 

Newt laughed. "No, I wish. It's cider." 

Plenty of people said hello to Newt as they walked past, and the few that he knew said hello to Thomas as well. Thomas didn't see them, though. All he saw was the taller boy leading him through the crowds and holding his hand as tightly as Thomas thought possible. It was as though Newt were afraid to lose him. Thomas tightened his grip. He was afraid of the same thing. 

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. He had lost Newt several times to family or friends. He'd been asked to give a speech, which he nailed, and had to get pictures done with his parents and sister. Every time Newt had been forced to leave his side, Thomas sat quietly at his table. He made cordial small talk when initiated by someone else, and shook his head politely or graciously accepted when servers offered him food. 

They'd been there for just about three hours when Newt came back up to the table. Thomas expected him to sit down, but instead he grabbed the jacket he'd discarded earlier. Based on his flushed cheeks, Thomas guessed it wasn't because he was cold. He sidled up to Thomas' chair, trying not to get in anybody's way, and bent down so his face was level with Thomas. The volume had only risen as the night had gone on, but Newt only pressed his mouth close to Thomas' ear and lowered his voice to a whisper. The warmth of his breath sent shivers throughout Thomas. He almost forgot about how hot he was. 

"Do you want to leave?" Newt asked. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. My parents said we could go. They're just going to be drinking for the rest of the night, so there's no reason for us to stay." 

"Okay, let's go." 

Newt backed away so Thomas could stand up. He said goodbye to everybody at the table then gestured for Thomas to follow him. They managed to make it outside without anyone stopping them - stopping Newt - to talk. Thomas had forgotten how cold it was outside with how hot he'd been all night. When they stepped outside, they both came to an immediate stop. Sometime during the evening it had begun to snow. Thomas looked at Newt. He was staring up at the sky with a huge grin. Thick snowflakes landed on his eyelashes, his nose, his hair, his lips. His eyes sparkled. The snowfall was so heavy, his suit was already getting damp. He seemed unconcerned. 

Thomas hadn't even noticed when Newt shifted his gaze to meet Thomas'. When their eyes met, Newt's smile turned from childlike wonderment to something softer. Something that made Thomas' heart lurch. Right now he was looking at Thomas the same way Thomas knew he looked at Newt. In two years, this was the first time Thomas had ever considered Newt might feel the same way as he did. 

Just as Thomas thought he should say or do something, Newt continued walking, still smiling. Thomas followed, trying to sort through these new thoughts. Neither of them had to say anything to know where they were going. Newt only lived a 15 minute walk from the banquet hall. 10, if they cut through the park. 

They crossed the empty street and down the sidewalk. There was not a lot of activity for it being a Saturday night. Neither of them said anything until they left the noise of the party behind them. At which point, Newt nudged Thomas' shoulder.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked. 

"I did until you started to leave me behind." Thomas meant it as a joke, but he realized it could come across as him being genuinely upset. To convey his tone, he playfully nudged Newt's shoulder in return. Sure, he hadn't enjoyed Newt being away from him, but this night had been about his family. Thomas had just been there to support Newt, even if it was from a distance. 

"Sorry." Newt said, "I guess I shouldn't have asked you to come. I knew I wouldn't be able to hang out." 

"No, it's fine." Thomas said, "I was just kidding." 

They cut across another street. Thomas hadn't prepared for the snow and felt his fingers and cheeks begin to go numb. 

"Did you have a good time?" Thomas repeated Newt's question back to him. 

Newt shrugged. "It's not really how I would choose to spend my Saturday night." He said, "But it was for my parent's, and I know it meant a lot to them." 

Thomas wasn't sure if it was because they were alone now or if it was the way Newt had looked at him when they first stepped outside, but something made this feel like the perfect moment. 

"You looked really nice tonight." The second the words left his mouth he regretted them. He was sure he had sounded like an idiot, but it was too late to take them back now. 

"Looked nice?" Thomas could hear the smile behind the words. It made him feel a little better.

"Well the snow is kind of ruining your jacket." 

"Good." Newt said, still smiling. 

Thomas finally looked over at him and was shocked to find Newt was looking at him. Newt looked away and turned his gaze to the ground. Thomas almost thought he saw Newt blush, but convinced himself it was just the cold air turning his skin red. 

"Thanks. I think I might be coming around to the whole look." 

"It suits you." 

"Was that a pun?" Newt laughed. 

Thomas grinned. "No, just a coincidence." 

Sometimes Thomas forgot that beneath all the feelings he'd developed, they were still best friends and still teenage boys. They still joked with each other, said stupid things, did stupid things, and were still immature. No matter what he felt or whatever Newt did or did not feel, they were still best friends. Thomas couldn't imagine a life where he didn't have Newt. Maybe he was better off keeping his feelings to himself. He didn't want to risk losing the most important person in his life. 

This thought sobered him up very quickly. They fell back into silence. Thomas wasn't sure if Newt could feel the same strain in this silence that he felt, but it was all Thomas could focus on. 

Without saying anything, Newt chose to cut through the park. It wasn't much of a park, mostly just trees with a walking path splitting it in half. To get to Newt's, they had to stray off the path and go through the trees. They took their own path that they knew so well. After 9 years, Thomas could find his way through the shroud of trees to Newt's backyard with his eyes closed. With how dark it was and the lack of lights, he might as well have his eyes closed. But he was still close enough to Newt that he could see every detail, clear as day. Thomas would recognize Newt even with his eyes closed, he was sure.

"Tommy." Thomas was pulled out of his thoughts once again by the sound of his friend's gentle voice. 

Newt gave Thomas no time to respond. His hands were on Thomas' soaking jacket and pulling him forward with no warning. Thomas didn't even have time to figure out what was happening until Newt already had his lips pressed against his own. The numbness that had spread throughout Thomas was suddenly replaced with every one of his nerves coming alive. He felt every single touch with an intensity he'd never felt before. The chill of snowflakes landing on his skin, fibers of his clothes pressing tightly against his skin, the cold hands that had moved to his even colder cheeks. Both hands cupped his jawline, fingers biting into his jaw and cheeks, thumbs curving underneath his cheekbones. 

Even given the ferocity with which he felt all these things, it was all drowned out by the feeling of Newt's lips on his own. They were somehow warm, even with the chill of the night. It started out hesitant and slow, as if Newt hadn't thought about what he was doing until it was too late, but when Thomas registered what was happening and reacted, Newt changed his demeanor. Their lips moved together as though they'd done this dozens of times before. Lips and teeth and tongue and desire that Thomas hadn't understood the magnitude of until this moment. Newt backed Thomas up into a tree behind them. His body curved into Thomas' as Thomas pulled him closer, his hands buried in Newt's jacket. Thomas could feel Newt leaning even closer, his back arched underneath Thomas' shaking fingers. 

They kissed until their lips were no longer numb from the cold, but rather from each other. Until Thomas could feel nothing but Newt. Newt's fingers on his neck, his lips warm on his own, his tongue scraping against his teeth, his skin beneath his fingertips. They kissed until the world, the sky, the trees, the snow melted around them and they were the only thing remaining. Until Thomas' lungs begged for the air he felt he'd been missing since he was 13. 

Newt pulled away from Thomas without stepping away. They remained as close as they'd been seconds earlier. Thomas opened his eyes; Newt was looking at Thomas the same way Thomas had been looking at him. This time Thomas knew it meant the same thing. His fingers lingered on Newt's waist, but he loosened his grip considerably. 

Neither of them said anything as they caught their breath and collected their thoughts. Thomas wasn't sure what he could possibly say to explain how much that had meant to him. So he settled for saying nothing and instead caught Newt's lips between his once more. Newt pressed his forehead against Thomas' once they parted. Thomas closed his eyes again. 

Both of them were drenched and even if he didn't feel it, Thomas knew he was freezing. Both of them were freezing. Except all Thomas could feel was air returning to his lungs. The feeling of being able to breathe for the first time in two years. As if Newt was the one who had taken the air from his lungs and given it back to him with the press of his lips. 

Thomas could breathe again. 

\--------------

Nerves had been building up in Thomas all day, but had now reached an all time high. He had tried convincing himself several times how ridiculous it was that he was nervous. It was an over glorified dance where students tried to sneakily get drunk and talk about how much they would miss each other, but in truth would never speak again after graduation. 

In spite of his opposition, Thomas was still willingly going to prom. In about 20 minutes his father would hand him the keys to his car, tell him to not make stupid choices, wink at him, embarrass him, then tell him to be safe. In about 20 minutes his mother would begin to get emotional, repeatedly tell Thomas how handsome he is, tell him to make good choices, take dozens of pictures, then tell him to have fun for her. 

Right now, Thomas stood in front of his mirror making any last minute adjustments he felt necessary. He felt boring having gone with the all black suit, but his tie was a deep purple so he figured that had to count for something. The shirt under the jacket was dark grey, which his mother had picked out for him. Thomas fixed said shirt, smoothing it out. He fixed his hair that he was convinced would never sit exactly how he wanted it to and adjusted the buttons on his jacket. He put on his shoes, lacing them up with shaky fingers, fixed his pant legs, and brushed off the sleeve of his jacket. Finally, he straightened his tie. 

With one last look, Thomas sighed. That would have to do. With perfect timing, his mom called for him. 

"Thomas, come downstairs!" 

Thomas made sure he had everything he needed before exiting his room and taking the stairs as slowly as he could. With his luck he would probably trip if he didn't. When he reached the bottom, he finally looked up. If he didn't know any better, he would say his heart had stopped. He would have thought he quit breathing for several minutes. What he did know was that his heart had begun beating much quicker than normal. 

Newt stood in the doorway talking to Thomas' parent's. He was laughing at something his dad had said, a light and airy sound that would have made Thomas smile himself if he hadn't been stunned into silence. His hair had been recently cut. It was trimmed neatly at the sides and in the back with it longer on the top, hanging just above his eyes; the way Thomas liked it. His suit matched Thomas' with his black jacket and pants. The shirt was, however, a deep purple and the tie dark grey. Thomas thought those colors looked better on Newt than they did on him. Of course, he thought that of everything Newt wore. 

Every time Newt wore a suit he looked better than the last. Tall and lean and defined, Thomas was sure Newt had never looked better. Which was saying something; Thomas often found himself blown away by how good Newt looked. It made this moment that much harder for Thomas to get a hold of himself. The form-fitted suit showed off every muscle in the boy's arms. Thomas thought it would look even better on him without the jacket. 

At 18, both Thomas and Newt had stopped growing a while ago and, unsurprisingly, Newt towered over Thomas. Just like when they were 13, Newt teased him relentlessly about this and, just like when they were 13, Thomas still loved that Newt was taller than him. Especially now. 

Thomas stepped forward which finally got both his parent's and Newt's attention. He didn't care about his parent's attention. They had both stopped talking and turned to look at Thomas. He heard his mother gasp and say something, probably about how nice he looked, but he wasn't paying close enough attention. 

All he saw was Newt. Whose smile had transformed into a hard to decipher look. Hard for someone else, maybe, but Thomas knew what the look meant. Thomas had always been a fairly modest, verging on insecure, person, but when Newt looked at him like that he couldn't help but feel maybe he was worth a little bit more. Maybe he could be that person Newt saw whenever he looked at Thomas; whoever that may be. Because right now Newt was looking at Thomas like he was the only person in the room. To the two of them, they might as well be the only people in the room. In the world, even. Newt was certainly the only one Thomas could see when he walked into a room. 

It took a while before either of them could find the right words to say, but Newt seemed to sum it up quite nicely.

"Wow." 

Thomas couldn't help but feel like this was a very cliché moment he had seen in several cheesy romance movies. That's what they didn't tell you about love, though; there was a reason scenes exactly like this were used over and over. 

Ignoring this, he finally crossed the room towards Newt who had begun doing the same. Instinct had Thomas leaning up, but with his mom and dad both watching, he settled on wrapping his arms around Newt. Newt reciprocated, his arms curving around Thomas' waist and pulling him in closer. There were dozens of thoughts running through Thomas' mind, but they all felt embarrassing to say in front of his parent's. Instead, he buried his face in Newt's neck and breathed in the familiar scent. He picked up on the subtle smell of a new cologne. 

Thomas sank into this, wishing they could remain this way all night. Unfortunately, Newt stepped back. A ghost of a smile lingered on his face. He turned back to Thomas' mother and extended his hand out to her. She placed something in his hand. She wasn't even trying to contain the smile on her face; neither was his dad, for that matter. Newt faced Thomas again, a slight grin now appearing, and waved whatever he was holding in front of Thomas' face. It was this that made Thomas realize what it was. 

"Oh!" This was the first thing he'd said since coming downstairs. It seemed anticlimactic, but this had reminded him of what he was forgetting. He dashed into the kitchen, found what he was looking for, then came back with the found item in hand. "You wanna go first?" Thomas asked Newt.

Newt laughed. "Sure." He opened the plastic container that held the simple white rose the couple had picked out weeks ago. Thomas moved his arms out of the way and let Newt place the boutonniere on his jacket. He leaned in close so he could see what he was doing. His face was only inches away from Thomas'. His eyes were so concentrated on the matter at hand, Thomas was sure Newt wouldn't notice how closely he watched Newt's face.

"You're distracting me." Newt said without looking away, "Stop looking at me like that." 

Thomas obeyed, despite knowing Newt wasn't serious. When he finished, Thomas took his own turn. At a moment like this, he was thankful for Newt being taller than him. The only distraction he had was the steady beat of Newt's heart underneath his fingertips. He did his best to ignore this as he pinned the flower to Newt's jacket. 

When he was satisfied, he straightened out Newt's jacket, running his hand over the material. He flattened his hands out against Newt's chest and smoothed the jacket. He could feel Newt looking down at him. They both knew this was unnecessary, but neither were going to protest. 

Thomas almost forgot his parent's standing by the door until his mom interrupted them.

"So can I get some pictures?" She already had a camera in her hand. Thomas was confused as to where it came from. 

"Do we have a choice?" Thomas asked.

"In 10 years you will thank me for making you take pictures to remember this night." 

No one batted an eyelash at the insinuation that Newt would still be a part of Thomas' life in 10 years. It had always seemed like an obvious fact. Still, the idea of Thomas still being with Newt in 10 years caused his heart to flutter. Three years ago he'd begun to accept that Newt would never be anything more than a friend, and now they were talking about a future together 10 years from now. 

This made Thomas much more willing to get his picture taken. 

15 minutes and so many pictures later, he and Newt were saying goodbye to Thomas' parent's. As predicted, his mom was on the verge of tears and his dad was telling him to be safe while handing him the keys to his car. Thomas gently shoved Newt out the door to get out of the house as quickly as possible. Once the door was safely sealed behind them, Thomas sighed and turned to Newt. 

Now that they were alone, neither of them hesitated. Newt was already leaning down to meet Thomas' lips as Thomas looped his hands around his neck. Newt grabbed Thomas by the waist and pulled him in closer. Distance didn't exist when it came to them. Thomas moved in as close as he could and still Newt pulled him in closer. It was urgent, but familiar; a feeling Thomas never grew tired of. 

Thomas stepped back first, but left his hands tangled in Newt's hair. 

"You look incredible." He said. 

Newt left a lingering kiss on Thomas' lips and smiled. 

"So do you." 

Both pulled away and walked, hand in hand, towards the car Thomas' dad had lent them for the night. Thomas moved to the passenger side and made a big display of opening it for Newt. Newt laughed and gently smacked Thomas on the arm. Thomas moved to the other side of the car, got in, started it, and pulled away. 

Five hours later, they were back in the car. They'd stayed at the school for three hours, then met up with some friends at a diner a few blocks away. They hung out until the diner closed at midnight. Everyone said goodbye and piled into their separate vehicles, leaving Thomas and Newt alone once more. 

Now, Thomas lay in the backseat of the car with Newt hovering over top of him, tucked in between his legs. They abandoned their jackets the second they'd gotten into the car. Thomas' shirt was unbuttoned, falling off his shoulders, and no longer tucked in. Newt's clothes were in similar disarray; his shirt was half unbuttoned and half untucked. Thomas rested one hand on Newt's bare chest in a weak attempt to hold him up. His other was tangled in Newt's hair which was now dishevelled. Newt had one hand on the seat to steady himself, and the other cupped Thomas' jaw. His lips moved from Thomas', to his jaw, his neck, his chest, and coming back up to his lips. 

Thomas blindly brought his hands to Newt's shirt and fumbled to undo the remaining buttons. He pushed the material off his shoulders, Newt pulling away from Thomas for just a second to finish taking it off, then threw it to the side. Thomas ran his hands across his shoulders, his back, his waist. He could feel Newt shivering underneath his touch. Thomas' lips were beginning to go numb, but this didn't matter when he felt the hunger and desperation with which Newt was kissing him. Nothing mattered more to him right now than the feeling of Newt's heart racing underneath his fingertips. His own heart was beating at a similar speed and only grew quicker every time Newt softly whispered his name. 'Tommy.' Over and over again, like a mantra, like he was afraid of forgetting. 

"Newt." Thomas said just once. Soft and slow, like he was saying a prayer. Newt gently bit down on Thomas' lip, emitting a quiet gasp. 

"You know," Newt said into Thomas' mouth. His voice so ragged and breathless, Thomas couldn't help but hold onto him a little tighter. "There's no one at my house right now." 

This did make Thomas stop. He pulled back, just a little, his forehead now resting against Newt's. They still remained close enough to feel each other's heavy breaths. His hand rested on the back of Newt's neck, keeping him close. He allowed himself to catch his breath a little before he said anything. 

"You waited until now to tell me that?" His voice was barely above a whisper, he couldn't manage anything more. 

Thomas had his eyes open just enough so he could see Newt's mouth shift into a grin. Both of them sat up and searched for their shirts in the darkness of the car. Newt didn't even bother buttoning his; he just draped it loosely over his shoulders and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. Thomas watched him, unsure he could keep off of Newt, even for the short drive to his house. As if he could sense this, Newt grabbed Thomas' chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilted his head up towards him, and kissed him. He then proceeded to climb to the front of the car. He slid into the drivers seat almost as if he knew Thomas did not have his mind in the right place to be driving. He probably did know. Thomas climbed into the passenger seat, thankful he didn't have to drive.

An hour later, Newt and Thomas lay face to face in Newt's bed. Newt had fallen asleep a few minutes earlier, but Thomas, despite the late hour, had never felt more awake. 

Thomas watched Newt who lay only inches away from him. He watched the steady rise and fall of his bare chest. Newt wore his shirt unbuttoned and his boxers and nothing else. Thomas had been wearing the same thing up until a few moments ago when he'd shrugged off the shirt. The room was too hot for that and definitely too hot for blankets which had been kicked to the floor, anyways. Thomas watched their hands, which remained loosely intertwined between them. Thomas had known Newt was asleep when his grip on Thomas had eased. Thomas still held on, lightly stroking his thumb against Newt's. An empty gesture since Newt wouldn't even feel it, but it made Thomas feel lighter. He watched the way Newt's hair fell in front of his face; strands of blond hair covered his closed eyes. Moonlight was coming in through the thin curtains and resting on Newt's already pale hair. The white light almost made it look platinum. Thomas separated their fingers and lightly pushed the hair out of his eyes. 

He watched Newt, every detail he'd been memorizing since he was 13, and wondered how it was possible to love one person so much. Thomas thought back on the night; he recalled thinking Newt had never looked so amazing when he'd first arrived at his place. He still meant that, but watching Newt right now he knew he had never seen anyone so beautiful. Thomas thought of Newt at the beginning of the night. Put together and proper in a fitted suit that had stopped Thomas' heart from beating. And he looked at him now; asleep, mouth open, hair a mess. Said suit now strewn around the room. The jacket draped neatly on the desk chair, pants carelessly thrown on the floor, shirt half hanging off his torso full of wrinkles, and the tie. Thomas couldn't even recall where the tie was; in the car, maybe? 

Whether he was dressed up or completely unkempt, Newt caused Thomas' heart to stutter. It didn't matter to Thomas what Newt wore or how they spent their evenings, as long as he could guarantee they were together and could fall asleep like this every night, Thomas could sleep just fine.

Now, he laced his fingers through Newt's limp ones once more and closed his eyes. He fell asleep to the sound of steady breathing and the warmth of a hand pressing into his own. 

\------------

The clock read 5:37pm. 23 minutes until Thomas and Newt had to be arriving at a black tie event and 8 minutes until they had to leave if they wanted to get there on time. The problem was Newt was not yet home and the event was a very important charity dinner for the company Newt was interning at. It was pointless for Thomas to go if he was not going with Newt. 

Right now, Thomas sat at the table absentmindedly drumming his fingers against the tabletop. He wasn't so much worried about being late as he was worried about how Newt would react if they were late. Newt was and always had been a punctual person and if he were late for this, he would never let it go. This was, as Newt had explained to Thomas several times, the perfect opportunity for him to get to know his bosses in a slightly less professional environment, and perhaps get the chance for a paid position at the company. Thomas had gotten dressed and ready 20 minutes prior when he realized Newt was running late. He knew it would be one less thing for Newt to worry about if he was ready to go as soon as he got home. 

Home. Sometimes, even just thinking about it, Thomas couldn't believe saying the word 'home' meant the apartment he lived in with Newt. Newt had always been home for Thomas, but having a home with Newt was something he only could have dreamt of. They no longer had to sneak in and out of each other's windows in the middle of the night or early in the morning. After a year of being separated while at college, Thomas didn't have to go weeks or months without seeing Newt anymore. Every morning they woke up to each other and every night they fell asleep with each other. Newt was no longer Thomas' pipe dream; he was his too-good-to-be-true reality. Ten years ago, Newt had been the life Thomas could only dream of; now they shared that life with each other. 

The door opened as Thomas had this thought. At 23, Thomas' heart still twisted at the sight of Newt the same way it did when he was 13. Even looking completely frazzled Newt managed to look perfect. He, like Thomas, was already dressed. Apparently he had taken the 'black tie' title literally, because, save the shirt, he was dressed head to toe in black. If they weren't running late, Thomas would have taken a moment to drink this in. Except at seeing the panicked look on Newt's face he allowed his reaction to the slimming suit be delayed. 

"Good, you're ready." Newt said, taking one glance at Thomas and flying through the door. 

"And you're late." Thomas observed. He stood up, though, knowing they would be leaving the second Newt was ready. 

Newt didn't reply to this. Instead, he headed down the short hall and disappeared through the bedroom door. Thomas could hear him muttering to himself, but heard no coherent words. A second later he heard something crash to the floor followed by a long string of curse words. He considered seeing if he needed help, but figured it best to just stay out of the way. 

With only 3 minutes until they absolutely had to leave the building, Newt came back into the kitchen. His hair was now in place and his jacket replaced with an almost identical one. Thomas could see the difference, though. This one looked better. Thomas was pretty sure Newt had gone over the entire ensemble with a lint roller numerous times, because it was spotless. There was just one problem that Thomas noticed. Newt was buttoning the jacket when he came back into view while continuing to mumble under his breath. 

At a slightly louder than normal volume, he said, "Okay, I'm ready." He headed for the door with his keys in hand when Thomas blocked his path.

"Babe." Thomas said.

"What?" Newt said, clearly frustrated at this interruption, but stopped nonetheless. 

Thomas said nothing. He only lifted his hands to Newt's tie, tightened it, and straightened it out. Then he adjusted the collar of his shirt, just for good measure. When he knew everything was fine, Thomas' eyes slid up to meet Newt's and smiled. Newt was smiling as well.

"Thanks, Tommy." He leaned down and kissed him. He placed his hands on Thomas' chest and gently nudged him backwards. "Okay, we have to go." 

Thomas obliged, backing away, and headed towards the door. 

They arrived at the dinner with four minutes remaining, having beaten the traffic to get there. As soon as they stepped through the doors of the banquet room, Newt was swept away by his boss who insisted he meet her boss. He turned to look at Thomas with an apologetic look as he was pulled off in the opposite direction. 

Thomas didn't rely on seeing Newt again for a while, so he found his spot at their assigned table and sat down. He was grateful to be placed with co-workers of Newt that he had met before. They made polite conversation with him until they, too, were taken away for some work related discussion. Thomas sat at the table with spouses and dates who had also been abandoned. None of them felt the need to participate in small talk; Thomas was perfectly fine with this. 

After nearly 20 minutes, Thomas saw Newt pushing his way through the crowd. He had a strangely giddy look on his face. His smile beaming, and eyes wide and shining. He looked radiant, Thomas thought. Thomas always thought that, but seeing the look of complete joy illuminating off of his face sent Thomas' own heart into a frenzy of joy. When Newt spotted Thomas, the glow intensified. Eight years spent in love with Newt and this still shot thousands of emotions through Thomas. To think he went from giving up on Newt ever feeling the same when he was 15, to being the reason his face lit up...he never would have thought of reality to be so kind.

Newt sat down beside him, pulling his chair as close to Thomas as he could get it. He slid a knee in between Thomas' legs and leaned forward. 

"Sorry for being gone for so long." Newt said. 

"It's fine. It was obviously worth it." 

Newt grinned and repeated everything that had happened to Thomas in great detail. His boss had introduced him to her boss which led into the conversation of a perspective new job opportunity for Newt. Newt relayed the conversation until their dinner was served and Thomas listened with fully reciprocated interest. 

After they finished eating, Thomas didn't see much more of Newt for the rest of the evening. He was frequently being whisked away to talk to someone's boss or a co-worker or someone leading the benefit. Thomas didn't mind. Every time he spotted Newt through the crowd, he had the biggest smile on his face. Thomas could feel his joy from across the room, and that's what this evening was about for him. He could have Newt to himself when he got home. 

Which he did. When they got back home, they'd ended up on the couch with the TV on in the background. Neither had bothered changing out of their formal attire yet. Two half empty wine glasses sat abandoned on the coffee table. Newt lay sprawled across the couch with his head resting in Thomas' lap. Thomas absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair. Sometimes he couldn't believe how soft it was. He was sure Newt had fallen asleep until he felt him shift in is lap.

"Thank you for coming tonight. Even if I couldn't be with you much." Newt mumbled into Thomas' leg. 

Thomas stroked the feathery hair between his fingers. "I'll always support you; even if it's from a distance." He couldn't see it, but he knew Newt was smiling. With his free hand, Thomas felt the material of Newt's jacket. 

"Have I ever told you how incredible you look when you wear a suit?" Thomas asked. 

"No," He shifted so he was looking up at Thomas. "But you didn't have to." 

"No?" 

Newt shook his head. "It's obvious. Every time I put one on you lose the ability to speak. You kinda freeze up and go very quiet for a long time." He paused, "Maybe I should wear one more often." 

Thomas smacked his arm and he laughed.

"Ever since we were 15." Newt continued, "At my parent's 20th anniversary party. You remember that? That's when I kissed you for the first time. That was the first time I thought you might feel the same." 

Of course he remembered; how could he forget a moment like that? But he shook his head.

"I remember," Thomas said, "But it's been since we were 13, not 15." 

Newt's eyebrows furrowed. "13?" 

Thomas nodded. "Yeah. Your uncle's funeral. I'd been having really weird feelings for you for a while before then, but as soon as you put on that suit I was pretty sure I knew." 

"Huh. I had no idea." Newt reached up and toyed with the lapel of Thomas' jacket. He smiled. "You look pretty damn good, too." 

Thomas smiled. "I love you." 

Newt's hand trailed up to the back of Thomas' neck. He pushed himself up and pulled Thomas down to meet him halfway. This had become the most familiar feeling in the world to Thomas. The warmth of Newt's mouth on his own and his fingers pressing into his skin. There was softness with which he kissed him, but heat behind it that made it just about impossible to pull away. His fingernails bit into his skin; gentle enough that he could not define it as pain, but rather pleasure. Comforting, maybe. As if Newt were afraid he would slip away if he didn't hold on tight enough. 

Newt pulled back just enough so he could speak the words clearly. "I love you, too." 

He didn't have to worry; Thomas wasn't going anywhere. 

\-----------

The church was decorated beautifully; pink and yellow flowers filled the aisle and pretty white lights hung from the walls and ceilings. A small arch stood at the end of the aisle, waiting for the magic fairy-tale ending it was meant to give. Guests filled just about every seat available. The near-December chill stayed outside as heat filled the tightly packed room. It would almost be nice if the winter air could ease the suffocating warmth. Still, it was hard not to be happy on a day as perfect as this one. 

Thomas was seated right next to the aisle about halfway up. This would be great seating if he knew more than two people in the wedding party, but he didn't, so he simply felt uncomfortable. He was grateful to be near friends who he could talk to, if need be. He found himself turning several times to look at the closed doors; many people did. The wedding was scheduled to start 6 minutes ago and people were beginning to get antsy. As beautiful as the ceremony was so far, it was a very crowded and stuffy church. 

The groom and best man stood at the front chattering quietly. Thomas watched as the best man reached up to fix the groom's tie, a gesture that made Thomas smile. He didn't know either men very well; he had met both a few times, but all brief run-ins. However, he didn't need to know the groom to see that he was obviously nervous. Thomas always wondered what it was about weddings that made people so nervous. If you knew you loved the person, wouldn't it be easy? 

This thought was quickly cut off by a change in the music that played from a harp near the front. The music, however subtle, was enough to silence everybody in the room. Thomas, along with everyone else, turned towards the doors that were now being opened. Two sets of people walked down the aisle, arm in arm. Thomas didn't know any of them. 

Being that Thomas didn't know anyone here very well, the only reason he was even invited was due to his 'close friendship with one of the groomsmen.' This was word for word what his invitation had said when he received it. The plus ones of the wedding party had been sent their own modified invitations just to confirm they would be attending. When Thomas opened his, he burst out laughing at the sheer ignorance of it. Several days later he had been given a written apology from the bride and groom, saying the bride's mother had crafted those extra invitations and she was not so open-minded. 

Now, as the first groomsmen and bridesmaids split off when they reached the end of the aisle, Thomas waited anxiously. His eyes were glued to the doors as the next, and last, pair began their walk down the aisle. 

Thomas knew the bride was supposed to be the most beautiful person at a wedding, but watching Newt walk down the aisle, he knew he could be in a room of a thousand beautiful brides and not find one as gorgeous as he found Newt. Newt wore the exact same suit as the other groomsmen, but not one of them wore it in the same heart-stopping way that Newt did. Not to Thomas, anyways. Thomas felt every rib-breaking pound of his heart as Newt got closer to him. He knew he was leaning closer without intention, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but be pulled in when he saw Newt and when he saw him like this, there was almost nothing that could stop him from doing away with any distance between them. Of course, Thomas' common sense won out over the tug of his heart. 

Instead, like everyone else, he watched. Newt looked so much taller than usual, Thomas thought. Sure, the girl on his arm was shorter than him, shorter than Thomas, but it wasn't that. It wasn't just how high he held his head, or the way his posture remained impeccably straight the entire way up. Thomas was sure it was how well fitted the suit was. In the past, anytime Newt had worn a suit it had always been something already made or something he borrowed. It never had to be top end, but this was. This was made specifically for him and it showed. It fit him in a way Thomas had never seen on Newt before. 

Thomas had been the one to help Newt get ready before he'd left the house that morning, but he hadn't had the time to appreciate it then. Now, it felt like time had slowed as Newt gracefully walked down the aisle. Thomas took every lagging second to see what he couldn't this morning. He was thankful for the slim fit of the suit; especially the jacket. Thomas was appreciative of the clear definition of his arms through it, especially with his shoulders pushed back like that. 

Newt's eyes searched the crowd. He was a few feet back when he finally spotted Thomas, who hadn't taken his eyes off of Newt since he walked through the doors. There was a shift in his face when his gaze met Thomas'. It was such a subtle change that Thomas was likely to be the only one who noticed. The easy smile that he'd held this whole time remained the same, but it was the look in his eyes that differed. What had been a collected calm quickly turned to a look of vulnerability when he saw Thomas. It wasn't fearful or worrisome. It was a look that reminded Thomas the position he held in Newt's life; that he was the one who Newt searched for in a crowd. He was the one who got to share and understand these private looks in front of a hundred people. 

Then he was gone, walking past him, forcing himself to break eye contact. Thomas knew if they were anywhere else he would have turned his head back, but this wasn't the place for that. As everyone else continued to watch the doors as the maid of honour came through, Thomas held his gaze forward. Newt took his place by the other groomsmen and watched as well. He may not have been watching Thomas, but the look on his face said he knew Thomas was watching him. 

Thomas continued looking forward until the music changed again and everyone stood up. He followed in suit and finally shifted his attention to the one who was supposed to be the most beautiful person in the room. Thomas agreed that she looked incredible. The radiant smile on her face was contagious, causing him and everyone around him to smile, as well. 

Thomas tried to focus on the ceremony, but found it hard when Newt stood as close as he did. Thomas didn't feel too bad for being more interested in his boyfriend than the couple considering he barely knew either of them. Every once in a while, Newt's smile altered. Whenever this happened, his eyes began to wander the crowd. He never quite made eye contact with Thomas, but he always came close. 

The ceremony ended up being as beautiful as the room it was held in. Thomas was sure if he knew them better he would have cried. Instead, he applauded with everyone else as they walked back up the aisle, hand in hand. The bridesmaids and groomsmen followed. This time, when he walked past, Newt turned his head. Only briefly, but it made Thomas' heart flutter. 

The room began clearing out. Everyone wanted to get out of the heat and back into the cold as quickly as possible. Thomas hoped the reception wouldn't be as humid as the ceremony. He waited until the back half of the room emptied before he made his way to the door. The church was almost entirely empty by the time he made it to the foyer. He was about to walk out completely when a hand landed on his shoulder. 

"Hey." Thomas immediately relaxed into the touch. He turned to find a familiar face beaming at him. 

"Hey." He replied, letting the hand on his shoulder slide around his waist. He stepped in closer, looping his arms around Newt's neck. 

They broke away. Newt was still smiling and now Thomas was, too. 

"You did great." Thomas told him. Almost on instinct, his hands landed on the lapels of Newt's jacket. Newt didn't even bat an eye at this gesture. 

Newt laughed. "Right, because my job was so difficult. Walking and then standing." 

"Hey, you could have tripped." 

"You would have tripped. That's why I did this, not you." 

Thomas swatted Newt's arm. He knew it was true; he was not as graceful as Newt. 

"I don't even know these people. It would have been weird if I had done it." 

Thomas' hands had moved from Newt's collar to laying flat against his chest. Thomas knew he was staring; staring at how lean Newt looked in the suit. Staring at the tightness of the shirt, the fitted black of the jacket, the look of the tie that did something to Thomas he couldn't even explain. His eyes trailed up and down. He could feel Newt watching him. 

"We're in a church, Tommy." Newt finally said. The words he spoke said he wanted Thomas to stop, but the edge they carried told Thomas this wasn't enough. "At least wait for the reception." Thomas smiled, taking a step backwards. 

An easy silence fell between them. The building, while emptying, was now filled with chatter, laughter, and even some crying. It was getting hard to hear what either of them were saying. Newt stepped in closer again and leaned down so Thomas could hear him.

"I have to go." He said, "We're doing pictures with the wedding party before the reception. They said it'll only take half an hour, but I would give it 45."

"Okay, so I'll meet you at the hall, then?" Thomas asked. 

Newt nodded. "Yeah, I'll catch up with you later." 

Newt kissed Thomas on the cheek, choosing to settle for fewer nasty glares than if he did the alternative. 

"I'll see you soon." Newt whispered before taking off. Thomas watched him until he left before leaving himself. 

An hour later, Thomas found himself still alone at the reception. He'd only been there for half an hour, but it had been a long one. He knew no one who sat at his table and therefore kept mostly to himself. A couple guests had come to talk to him. He had sat with his friends for a few minutes before sitting back at his table. It was clear most people were anxiously waiting for the wedding party to arrive. Thomas was, as well, but not for the same reasons. 

Thirty minutes late, fifteen minutes later than Newt had guessed, the band announced the arrival of the bride and groom. The bridesmaids and groomsmen trailed in first. They all broke off once they stepped a few feet into the room. No one cared about them, anymore. Most people didn't care about them. 

Once the newlyweds made their entrance, Thomas stood up and made his way to the entrance. He got halfway there before Newt got to him. 

"Hey, how did pictures go?" Thomas asked. 

"Fine. I got told what to do the whole time, so I didn't have to know what I was doing." 

Thomas led him to the table they were sitting at as Newt talked to him about the last hour. 

"...then it started to snow which inspired both the bride and groom and photographer. My jacket is soaked, but I'm still too cold to take it off."

Thomas didn't even hesitate to slip off his own and hand it to Newt. Newt smiled and traded out his own for this one.

"Thanks, Tommy." The innocent exchange made Thomas forget where he was. For a moment, he was no longer 25 years old and sitting with his boyfriend of 10 years. Suddenly, he was 15 again, shy and embarrassed over everything he did that made Newt smile. Still fumbling through the beginning of a high school relationship that everyone told him wouldn't last. "No one meets their soulmate at 15," he was told. And they were right; he hadn't met his soulmate at 15. He had met his soulmate at 6 and fallen a little bit in love with every day in between. And he was still here. Wearing his jacket and holding his hand underneath the table. 

The absurdity of it all, of the odds he was told he wouldn't beat and the love he was told wouldn't last, it made him smile. Neither of them had known at 15 that this was where they would be at 25, but a part of Thomas had always known. 

"What're you thinking about?" Newt asked him. 

"You." 

If this answer caught Newt off guard, he didn't show it. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed Thomas. 

"You know," Thomas said when Newt pulled away. "We aren't in a church anymore." He looked up at Newt and grinned. Newt did, too, but he also hit Thomas' arm. Thomas shrugged, still smiling. 

Newt opened his mouth to say something, but cut himself off as the song drifted into the next one. It was a slow song. Thomas knew what Newt was going to say before he could even say it. But he let him, anyways. Newt looked back at Thomas with an entirely different smile. It made Thomas' heart beat a little faster. 

"Do you want to dance?" Newt asked him.

Thomas didn't like dancing. He was clumsy and had terrible footing. But the incredibly soft look on Newt's face and the hopefulness in his voice made every worry Thomas had slip from his mind. He couldn't say no when he was looking at him like that; he didn't know how to say no. So he nodded.

Newt stood up, not containing the eagerness he felt, and held his hand out to Thomas. Thomas slid his hand into Newt's and let him lead him to the center of the room where other couples had already migrated. Their arms instinctively moved around each other, hands and fingers curving around the crooks and resting on skin they both knew so well. Thomas watched his movements carefully while they swayed to the music. Even as he watched his footing, he could feel Newt watching him. Eventually, he gave up and let himself do what felt natural, even if that meant letting Newt guide him. He rested his head against Newt's shoulder. The familiar comfort of strong arms around his waist and the faint sound of Newt's heartbeat helped him to relax. Thomas, with one hand, ran his fingers through the hair that rested at the nape of Newt's neck and curled his others into Newt's jacket -his jacket- between his shoulder blades. He heard Newt sigh; it was a content sigh that made Thomas feel at ease.

"Do you ever think..." Newt started, but his sentence trailed off. 

Something within Thomas told him he knew what the rest of that sentence was going to be. He wasn't sure if it was because of the way Newt's heart had begun to speed up, or maybe just because of where they were. But thinking this, he had to confirm what he thought he knew. 

"Do I ever think what?" Thomas urged Newt to continue. 

Newt took so long to speak again, Thomas wondered if he imagined Newt saying anything in the first place, but when he felt Newt's fingers bite into his skin, he knew he hadn't. He also had very little doubt about what Newt was thinking. 

"Do you ever think about..." The pause he took in between was almost too much for Thomas, but he let him get there on his own. "About us doing this someday?" 

"About us..." Thomas had to hear him say the words. He didn't understand why, but he needed to hear Newt say exactly what he was thinking. Only then would it be real. 

This time, Newt didn't hesitate. "About us getting married." 

Thomas was so glad his face was practically buried in Newt's shoulder, because he felt his entire face heat up and turn a deep red. He clutched Newt's jacket a little bit harder. Thomas had known from the moment Newt had spoken that this was what he was going to say, but to hear him actually say it, it was like it had knocked the air out of Thomas' lungs. 

"Sometimes." Thomas responded. He wasn't quite sure how long it had taken him to respond to Newt's question. Time seemed distorted right now. In truth, it was all he'd been thinking of lately. How many times he had lain awake, watching Newt, wondering what it would be like. No different, he was sure. He doubted much would change, but to have it official? Wouldn't that be nice? 

"Is that something you would want?" Thomas asked. He'd never asked before. Up until now, he hadn't thought this was something Newt ever thought about. Thomas could tell Newt was pondering his question. 

"You know, it was never something I thought I wanted." Thomas felt his heart sink. Now he was really glad Newt couldn't see his face. He was sure he wasn't hiding how much this had hurt him. He loosened his grip on Newt. Thomas hadn't realized just how badly he'd wanted it until Newt had said this. "But then you came along. I guess you've been around this whole time, but after spending almost my entire life with you by my side..." 

Thomas could feel Newt turn his head so he was looking down at him. Thomas lifted his own head off of Newt's shoulder and looked up. There was a look in his eye that Thomas was sure he'd never seen before. And he was smiling.

"It was something I used to think I wouldn't want." Newt continued. "But for you, a thousand times over." 

Thomas wanted to bury his face back into Newt's shoulder. He was sure his face was flushed and he didn't want Newt to know how badly he'd been hoping Newt would say that. Newt either didn't notice or didn't care, because he leaned down and caught Thomas' lips between his own. Thomas slid his hand down from Newt's neck to his jaw, sinking into the feeling he knew so well. He was fairly sure there was nothing in the world he knew quite as well as this; fairly sure there was nothing he wanted to know as well as this. 

If there was one thing Thomas knew for sure, it was that he would live a thousand lives if it meant he could love Newt like this in only one. 

\-------------

From the alley, he could hear the distant sound of chatter and music coming from inside. He'd stepped outside nearly ten minutes ago to get some fresh air and to escape the heat. It hadn't helped much, though. If the banquet room was hot crowded with people and a barely noticeable air conditioner, outside was sweltering. It was, however, getting fairly late and the temperature had gone down considerably. Thomas was leaning against the cool brick of the building. He stood around the corner from the door, thinking fewer people would find him if he stood there. 

Who had a July wedding? Why get married in such high temperatures? He couldn't even go outside to escape the heat. It was better now with the sun completely set; outside had become preferable to the stuffy room inside. Thomas had left his jacket hanging over his chair inside and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He mentally criticized himself for wearing a white shirt. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black dress pants and leaned his head against the building. He closed his eyes. He wondered, briefly, what time it was. Almost midnight, probably, yet the guests still continued with the party going on inside. 

Just as Thomas considered going back inside, he heard the door around the corner slam open then shut. Initially, he thought someone had the same idea as him, but then he heard the crunch of gravel underneath shoes getting closer to him. He kept his eyes closed.

"Hey." 

If it had been anybody else, Thomas would have wondered how he'd been spotted. It was pitch black, the nearest working streetlight was at the end of the alley, and there was only a dim light coming from around the corner. These things didn't matter, though. Newt didn't need any light to know it was Thomas. 

"Hey." Thomas replied. He opened his eyes and turned his head so it was facing the direction of Newt's voice. He couldn't see him, but he could feel him lingering by the corner. 

"You disappeared." Newt said. Thomas could hear him taking a few steps closer. He pushed himself off of the wall and turned to Newt. He could now see the vaguest silhouette of him, still a short distance away. "Are you okay?" There was worry in Newt's voice that he was trying to hide, but Thomas could hear it. Clear as day. He'd stopped moving forward so Thomas closed the remaining gap between them. His eyes had adjusted to the dark a few minutes ago, so this close he could clearly make out the details in Newt's face. There was worry in his eyes, as well. It made Thomas feel bad for leaving. 

"Yeah, I am." That wasn't a lie. He wasn't even sure he knew the right words to tell Newt how okay he was.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. It was getting really hot in there and I needed some fresh air." He took another step closer. "Also, there are a lot of people in there and there's kinda only one person in there that I want to be with. And now you found me. Which I think I knew you would; I think I was out here waiting for you to find me." 

Newt smiled, clearly reassured. Thomas really had come out here with the expectation that Newt would follow him. He had wanted to be alone with him all night, which was impossible to do when people kept coming up to the two of them. As great as he had been all day, he felt even lighter now that they were alone. 

A light from the building across the alley flickered on. Both Thomas and Newt turned to look at it before looking back at each other. Now Thomas could see Newt perfectly. He could see the way his hair, perfectly shaped in the morning, was now falling apart. It was pushed back for the most part, but a few loose strands hung in front of his eyes. He, too, had left his jacket inside and his matching white shirt clung to his body. The heat had obviously gotten to him, as well. His cheeks were flushed; Thomas wondered if that was from the heat or the champagne. There had been a lot. 

The key difference between Thomas' and Newt's ensemble was the suspenders Newt wore. Newt had turned down this suggestion when his mother brought it up, but after trying it out, he decided it was a good look. Thomas hadn't seen it until today, but he definitely agreed. His bowtie was a little lopsided, but Thomas resisted the urge to fix it. 

"Well in that case," Newt said, turning his attention away from their new spotlight, "Would you like to dance?" He was smiling now. It was slightly cocky and very elated. Seeing him this happy only increased Thomas' mood; something he couldn't believe was possible. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Thomas said. He couldn't help but smile as he said this. He leaned into Newt. "I'm a married man." 

The cockiness in Newt's smirk vanished and was replaced by a smile that made his entire face glow. His eyes lit up as he closed the space between them and slid an arm around Thomas' waist, pulling him as close as he could.

"Lucky for me." Newt whispered against Thomas' lips. Thomas curled his arm around Newt's shoulder as Newt grabbed his right hand with his left and laced their fingers together. 

In the past 12 years, Thomas had become familiar with everything about Newt. He'd studied every detail of his face, his body, his mind. He had long ago memorized the way he laughed, the way he spoke, the way he cried. Thomas knew how it felt to be with him, kiss him, hug him; how it felt to hold his hand. But the feeling of cold metal resting between his fingers, that was new. That was brand new and it brought his heart into a ceaseless flutter. His own ring pressed into Newt's neck where his hand rested. 

Thomas' forehead rested against Newt's cheek with his head turned to the side. He'd had his eyes closed, but when he noticed Newt's ring against his fingers, he opened them. He watched their hands, even stroked the ring on Newt's finger to prove to himself it was real. This was real; he was standing here with his own ring that Newt had given him just that afternoon. Now they were dancing with no music in a back alley, just outside of their wedding reception that they'd abandoned. Married; after all these years, married. None of it felt real. 

Thomas pulled his head back and looked up at Newt. There was an extraordinary calm in his eyes that only appeared in moments like these. When it was just the two of them with no cares but their arms wrapped around one another. How close they stood was the only thing that seemed to matter at times like this. Thomas smiled fondly. He tangled his fingers through Newt's feathery hair, feeling it get loosely caught in his ring. The thought still astounded him. 

Newt's nose brushed against Thomas' as he got closer. Thomas felt the warmth of his breath against his skin and stopped it with the press of his lips. There was no urgency in the kiss. All that mattered was knowing the other was in reach. It was soft and slow, but needy. Newt's lips were sweet against Thomas' tongue; a surge of happiness flooded through Thomas at the delicacy of the taste. It made his heart feel light and his head feel heavy. His thoughts melted together with the taste of Newt. Thomas broke the kiss with his mind finding no rest and his heart on his sleeve.

They watched each other for a short time before Thomas spoke.

"How did you know you loved me?" He was surprised by the words he said, but once spoken, he realized it had been something he'd been wondering for a while. 

By the look on his face, Newt had also been surprised by the question, but he only had a moments lull before answering. A gentle smile fell over his face as he seemed to think about what he was saying.

"I think a part of me always knew." He said, "When I met you, you were just this aloof, gangly 6 year old. But you also had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever met, and I just knew I had to protect this kid for as long as I possibly could. I think I've always known what an important part of my life you were and always would be. Also, it kind of felt inevitable. Whenever I thought of my future, you were always a huge part of it; I couldn't even fathom a life that you weren't apart of."

"You say kid like you're years older than me. Don't forget I'm only 5 months younger than you." Thomas reminded him.

Newt laughed before continuing. "But, I didn't know that I knew until we were 15. It was a few weeks before my parent's anniversary party, you remember the one? Anyways, I was in a full panic about the speech I had to give and being forced to dress up. I went to you and rambled for, like, 20 minutes about how awful it was going to go. I don't even know why I was so nervous, all I had to do was put on a suit and say a few words about my parent's. You were watching me the whole time with this bored look on your face. I was pretty sure you didn't care at all, so I just stopped talking. But then you put your hand on my shoulder and said, 'Don't worry, I'll be there with you.'

"It was that moment I realized. Because as soon as you said that, every worry I had went away. All that mattered was you being there with me. I didn't want anyone else in that moment, only you. Then I thought about every time before that one where you were by my side through every terrible event I didn't want to attend. You never hesitated to be there with me. I couldn't think of a single other person who would do that for me, nor could I think of anyone else I would want to do that for me."

Thomas thought of everything Newt had just told him. He couldn't believe Newt knew he loved him before he knew he loved Newt. He had always thought it was the other way around. Then he laughed at something else Newt had said.

"I wasn't looking at you with boredom. I was trying really hard to not kiss you." 

Newt laughed. A beautiful sound that made Thomas lean into him. He tightened his grip on Newt's hand. 

"This morning when I was getting ready my dad came into the room and told me it was just how he pictured. When I asked him what he meant, he said, 'This day was inevitable. We all saw it coming before either of you did.'"

"I guess we weren't very subtle, huh?" Newt said. He paused, then looked down at Thomas. "How did you know you loved me?" He repeated Thomas' question back to him.

Thomas didn't even have to think about his answer. "You already know I started to like you when I was 13. I didn't really want to believe it, though, so I just pushed it back as much as I could. Every time I saw you, though, everything I felt rose back up. I continued to deny what I felt, though. I didn't want to admit to myself that I liked you. It wasn't until you kissed me for the first time that I finally accepted it.

"Except, by then, those feelings had been festering for so long, that when I finally accepted it, I had to accept all of it. It all came at once; it was no longer just the butterflies I got when I was 13. It was this huge surge of feelings that I'd been repressing for two years, and as soon as you kissed me it was like, 'Oh, that's what this is.' It all made sense." 

Thomas could see Newt thinking. His warm eyes searched Thomas' and he smiled. Thomas wasn't sure either of them had stopped smiling all day, but it was the shift in the smile that he noticed. Right now it had gone from gentle to thoughtful. 

"As much as everyone says they saw this coming, I don't think my mind could have ever imagined that this is where we'd end up. I always knew you would be in my life for the long run, but I never thought I would be lucky enough for us to end up here."

Thomas dragged his hand down from Newt's neck and rested it in on the side of his face. He left it there for a moment before pulling him in. 

It started off like the last kiss, slow and tender, but quickly became desperate. This was filled with hunger and desire Thomas had only ever felt when he was with Newt. It came from a light bite at his lip, the ferocity with which Newt's lips moved with his own, his tongue tasting of champagne and cake, and the teasing of Newt's hand pulling on Thomas' hip. Thomas broke his hand away from Newt's and tangled it in Newt's wrinkled shirt. The material was soft and the hair between his fingers even softer. His heart hammered in his chest and only got faster with every scrape of teeth against lips, against tongue. Thomas' thoughts consisted only of Newt's now free hand sliding up his chest. His fingers blindly fumbled with buttons and slid his hand through the gap in the material. Thomas gasped at the cold touch of Newt's fingers against his skin, but leaned into the feeling of his fingertips, rough and gentle, pressing against him. 

In his heart, Thomas knew he could stay like this for the rest of the night, but his lungs were beginning to burn and logic was telling him to pull away. He did, reluctantly, but only enough so he could breathe again. He kept his eyes closed and pressed his forehead against Newt's. 

"We should probably go back inside." Newt said when his breathing began to regulate itself. This sentence brought Thomas back to reality. In the isolation of the alley, with just him and Newt, he had forgotten where he was. He forgot Newt wasn't the only one here with him. "I mean, these people are all here for us." Newt reminded him. 

"You're the only one I'm here for." Thomas opened his eyes to see Newt smiling. 

Newt kissed Thomas again; it was quick, but the taste of champagne lingered on his lips. Newt did up the buttons on Thomas' shirt that he'd just undone, then grabbed his hand in his own and slowly pulled him in the direction of the doors. Before opening them, Newt stopped and lifted Thomas' left hand to his lips. The warmth of his mouth against his fingers made Thomas' skin tingle. Newt twisted the golden ring around his finger, watched it for a moment, then looked up at Thomas. 

Gesturing to the ring, Newt said, "You have me for the rest of your life." 

This was all Thomas needed to hear to follow Newt into the banquet room. He would follow Newt anywhere.


End file.
